Poetry

The Rosie Show by Rosalind Hull

Hi there and welcome to “The Rosie Show”

It’s a shit show right now

Probably wouldn’t wanna pay front row seats if I were you

Unless you want to see hour long tears

Someone confessing their fears

I waited years

For someone nice to come along

Ignored the list of endless allergies

And mansplaining tendencies

Because he was there

When she couldn’t be

And I thought he cared 

But that had an expiry

His idea of giving space

Felt like a kick in the face

When I thought I had cried all the tears

That were left in me

“It’s all getting a bit much isn’t it?”

A bit much?

My mum just died

I think allowed to cry

And have one too many wines

“Wipe those tears and just be fine, ok?”

God, yeah…. I think that’s how it works

Grief

It’s very brief

But when you’ve invested in a reusable handkerchief

I think you’re in it for the long haul

And I’m sorry for the brawls

And the upsetting phone calls

But I don’t know what to tell you

I hope this doesn’t happen to you

Because you’re going to feel like a fool

When it does

Actually

You won’t 

Because you’ll be so stuck inside your own pain

Feel like your head is caving in on your brain

And you can only see rain

When the sun is shining the brightest it ever did

And you kid yourself that it might be her

My Mum

“Shining her light”

And it’s a constant fight

With having to bite

Your tongue on a daily basis

Because you are so angry

Angry with everything

With the world that took her so cruelly

And unexpectedly

With what feels like not an ounce of humanity

“When’s that counselling happening?”

Well, I can tell you a thing?

I’m not the only one that needs it

Because fuck me

(Actually, that was the only thing that was decent)

Show less passion

And find some compassion

Don’t leave your girlfriend lagging behind

And telling me your brother found it “all a bit much” when I had a cry

Because I had scattered my mother’s ashes that weekend

Which regretfully you participated in

I will not be made to bend and shape

My grief

To suit you and your family

So, get with reality

Because I know this year and a bit’s been shit 

We all lived it 

And are still living it

It’s not “The Rosie Show”

I wish it fucking was

Because it would be nice

If the curtains opened

If the lights came up

I can take that bow

And this can be 

One

Big

Fuck off

West End show

Where my Mum is sitting in the crowd

Comfortably without pain

Cheering me on and looking so proud

*Yes, I think “we’re done”. I’ll send you a ticket when it’s on. But a seat right at the back…with a restricted view.


Follow Rosalind on Instagram @rosalindhullarts and on twitter @rosalindhullart.

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