stairs are too narrow and will waver for a moment
when I try and find the light in this space
where touching will be encouraged.
where I will paint the walls yellow to remind me
that I must rebuild a state of being
that I can no longer rely on mother to be a source
this is what I have wished for.
and the first man to be brought back will not comment
on the garden he will not question the carpet
in the bathroom,
he will ask how my arms have stretched round so far
to hold all these faces now framed on the gallery.
we both blush and he will refer to me in full name
as a reminder that he is so small
compared to this new body
a new way of speaking
in a place that you now own.
pear tree lover is about independence and growth. The poem explores Beth’s right to take up space and refuse to settle. Follow Beth on Instagram and Twitter at @ragdollbeth. Follow Beth’s literary magazine on Instagram at @lemoncurdmagazine.